I’m back! It’s been over a year since my last post, but a lot has happened since my adventures at ‘jot-em-down-joes bbq’! I graduated from college, moved away from a city I was starting to fall in love with, got a job in one of the busiest cities in the country, and got engaged 
While none of these things kept me away from blogging, it was actually I who kept myself from blogging. Post-grad life has created a fat and lazy monster out of me and I can’t find the time, motivation, or passion for anything anymore. Why? I have no idea. I spent the majority of 2009 complaining about how unhappy I was with my job, but failed to really do anything about it. I moped around the house after work because I was bored and had nothing to do, but chose not to join a gym or get involved in some other activity. With the turn of the new year, I told myself, this year is going to be different! I’ll take on a new activity, make more time for friends, gain a little more independence and conficdence and things will be perfect! I have to say it’s only Februaruy and my resolutions are already heading staright to you know where! So I’ve decided to stop trying to change the things on the outside first, but start the change from within. Instead of forcing myself to a gym where I would be mindlessy running on a treadmill watching the timer tick down to 0:00, I will start by just being happy with myself. Instead of finding ‘stuff’ to make me happy I want to grab onto the things you can’t see with your eyes, but rather things you feel with your heart.
I want to start off by finding something to be grateful about everyday. Not just for the food in my stomach or the clothes on my back, but something that I can truely reflect upon and find gratitude to the good Lord above for blessing me with. I hope by finding one thing everyday, this eventually turns into hundreds to thousands of things in my everyday life. Secondly, I want to replace my criticism with praise. All too often I tend to find and point out the negative in strangers and the people I love. I’m in need of a cleansing of the soul and by eliminating negative thoughts about people and myself, I hope to find myself sitting in a genuine place with the universe. Lastly, I yearn to love others wholeheartledly as I hope to be loved. Not just what I call ‘surface’ love, but true, selfless, deep-down to the core love! Love for my family,fiance,friends,strangers, and humanity. I hope to be love for this world, so that they can take the seed of love and plant it throughout the world! I don’t imagine myself evolving overnight, but by putting my deepest desires out into the universe I hope this keeps me accountable for my acitons and to help motivate me on my journey!
Instilling these three components into my life will hopefully change myself, which will change those closest to me, and those clsoest to them, and so on. I want to be an influence for someone out there, but I’ve got to change myself first.
This life is so beautiful and precious, but we miss it everyday with things that have to be done for our livilihood. In the midst of “real-world” agendas I want to be grateful for the opportunity to contribute to society and make a name for myself on this earth. I want to make sure I instill constant praise into my relationships even if it isn’t returned, and I want to show unconditional love to myself and those around me. That is my wish and hope for this brand new year!
